Dodo Juice Review

[mjlinane]

Review: Dodo Juice

This is my first product review so please be gentle. To make it appear like I know what I'm doing, I "leveraged" Jim's son's format - in other words, blatantly stole it from his PERL review. Hell, I even left in parts of that review to make it look more thorough or, at least, longer.

Introduction:

I won this Dodo Juice Bottle Opener Key Ring on 26 Dec (my birthday) from AG (Are You a Dodo Juice Fanatic? Show Us Your Collection & Win a Bottle Opener!). A review was requested by Bob (FUNX725). I'm betting he won't make that mistake again.

Product Claims:

After a cursory look on the Dodo Juice website (meaning I didn't look too hard), I couldn't find any.

AG's site says

"Crack open your favorite beverage with the help of Dodo Juice!

In addition to making your vehicle look amazing, Dodo Juice helps keep you hydrated with their Bottle Opener Key Ring. This metal key ring features the Dodo Juice logo modified at one end into a highly effective bottle opener.

The key ring is actually a carabiner - a metal oval clip with an easy-open gate. Carabiners used to be used exclusively for mountain climbing but they've proven useful for all sorts of things. You can hang your Dodo Juice Bottle Opener on your keys, of course, on your backpack or gym bag, or on your belt loop.

The Dodo Juice Bottle Opener Key Ring is made of metal. It makes an excellent gift for Dodo Juice fans and anyone that needs a bottle opener to go!"

Dodo Juice Bottle Opener Key Ring

Details:

1.- Packaging: Cellophane bag & staple
2.- Directions: None provided (I could be wrong here - I didn't actually look)
3.- Viscosity: Very, Very Thick
4.- Color: Green, white and red with a little chrome
5.- Scent: Before application - none, after - hops & malt
6.- Regular Price: $ 14.99
7.- Manufacturer: Dodo Juice
8.- Made in: England

Recommended Dilutions:

1.- None provided

Product used for application:

2011 Sam Adams Black & Brew Coffee Stout (in honor of the beautiful & munificent Meghan who, based on her incredible Cyber Buster performance, must never sleep)

Average Conditions (Fahrenheit)


A bit "old school" but adds Barometric readings. (Take that, Jim's son.)

Average Conditions (Celsius)

Who cares? (Yes, I'm a bad American.) Oh... they're on there, too. @#$%!


PART 1:

Unboxing pics:



PART 2:

Preparation - I opened my refrigerator and selected the test vehicle. It arrived clean, passed the baggie test (claying not required) and had no observable swirls or RIDS, so I went straight to application. That and I was thirsty.



As no directions were provided (or, more accurately, read), I "sussed out" the product worked best as a WOWA. You could follow up with a short nap MF or cotton terry but I found it unnecessary.

Observations:

After application, the test vehicle's top had a smooth, glossy finish. While some AGO members may object to the overly glassy look, I found it quite appealing on that color.






Some subtle marring was noted on the bottlecap of the first bottle but I attributed that to unfamiliarity with the product. After several more tries, I stopped caring about the marring.



I did attempt multiple applications to a single test vehicle but noted no addition of gloss or depth. Obviously, like Opti-Coat, it cannot be layered.

The product worked well on domestics and imports - with one exception. When I applied it to a 2011 Guiness Stout, the products did as sometimes happens when you throw the English and Irish together - they didn't "get on". Loud (accented) name-calling ensued and, I believe, soccer references. (This was late in the review process so my observations may have been influenced by the prior successes.) I promptly separated them and will leave that part of the review to more experienced AGO members, like Jim's son.



One other, possibly related, observation: during the course of this review, multiple adult beverages went missing and there was even a report of a Padron 1964 Anniversario Exclusivo self-combusting in the area. While I did not note any bright lights in the sky, I strongly suspect aliens. You have been warned.

Video:

Jim's son often includes high-quality instructional videos in his reviews so I planned on shooting a 1080p HD video demonstrating my application technique. However, editting the video would require me booting one of my laptops into Windows mode. As I would rather listen to an English-Irish soccer discussion, no video.



Comparisons:

Jim's son also typically compares the product under review with other like products. Regrettably, I have no comparable product from Optimum, Ultima or Carpro and all of my similar OTC products have also gone missing (@#$% aliens). However, it did easily outperform my clay substitute - even with Dodo Juice Born Slippy used as lube.

Pros:

1.- Application: Very easy (apply, lift, pour, repeat).
2.- Appearance: Leaves an extemely liquid look albeit with a golden hue. However, I suspect this was always there and the product is simply revealing it.
3.- Versatility: In addition to working as a bottle opener, it adds serious bling to my keys. It was also suggested to me that it could be used on non-Adult beverages but can't imagine why anyone would bother.
4.- Dry: (Non-greasy) finish that doesn’t leave spots and lines when it rains. Not sure how this applies but thought it sounded good and couldn't come up with anything better to replace it, so I left it in.
5.- No lingering scent on interiors - unless there is a spill. But that would be a sin.
6.- Price: I got mine for free. YMMV.

???:

1.- What will the durability be? I will say I did not notice any top reappearing on a bottle once removed.

Cons:

1.- Documentation leaves something to be desired. Needs to rewritten to something like "Redeem this coupon code at Autogeek.net for a free 250ml refillable jar of Dodo Juice Supernatural Wax. And a 20% off No Exceptions Free Shipping No Minimum. And a lifetime BOGO of the entire store. And whatever else Alex can come up with." Just guessing here but I think it would sell better.
2.- Likelihood of going missing. Everyone who sees it wants to use it. And there are still those @#$% aliens about.

Final Observations and Summary:

This is an excellent product and is highly recommended.

I thank AG again for providing it for this review. I'd also like to thank Jim's son for providing the excellent review format and, as it turned out, a goodly chunk of the review content (the best parts, no doubt). It enabled me to actually "write" this review before receiving the product - something I'm sure Jim's son rarely does.

I'm sure Jim's son or even Nick would have done a more "bang up" review. I'll try to do better next time. I might even wait for the product to arrive before writing.

Interview:

At this point in some of Jim's son's more in-depth reviews, he includes an inciteful interview with the the manufacturer. Not wanting to drive up my long distance phone bill, I again chose not to. However, if I had, I imagine it would have gone something like this:

Dodo Juice: "'Ello. Dodo Juice."
Me: "Uh... hello. I'd like to, er...."
DJ: "Want a cup'a?"
Me: "Um... uh?"
DJ: "Well, I'm off for a cup'a. Ta-ta."
Me: "Er... OK. Uh, thanks."

Thank you for taking the time to read this review! Cheers

=============

In case it was somehow lost on the reader, I want to be crystal clear: this is an attempt at humor. I was originally going to title it "Dodo Reviewed by a Dumb Dumb" but felt it lacked the "hook" necessary to garner thread views. The truly observant may have noticed the clever use of British-English idioms sprinkled throughout. I even thought of randomly substituting "s"es for zeds to add colour but opted not to for fear of the spell checker "chuckin' it". Any possible reference to bonnet, boot, wing, tyres & chips as well as hood, trunk, fender, tires & fries was carefully avoided to eschew obfuscation.

I, in no way, intend any disrepect or ingratitude toward AutoGeek, Nick, Corey (CEE DOG), Jim (Old Tiger), Alex (alko), Dodo Juice or the British people. And, to anyone else I may have offended, please have a "cup'a" and take Shawn's (shoeless89) advice.

The actual product is extremely well-made and quite beautiful but carries too much sentimental value for me to use for any of its intended purposes. Instead, it will be mounted and assume a place of honor in my home office. I'm thinking between my diplomas & my US Patent plaque and, possibly, of even naming my first child Dodo Juice. Or not.

Corey - love your reviews. Keep 'em coming.

And Bob - another prime example of "be careful what you ask for." This is entirely your fault.

mjl

=============

Q: What is a "cup'a"?
A: Not exactly sure, either. But if you hang out with a Brit for any length of time, they are forever going on about a "cup'a". I suspect it may be the British-English equivalent to the American-English "uh", "er" and "um" ("Uh, wan'na, er, watch, um, NASCAR?").

Sorry, couldn't let my fellow Americans go unscathed.

[mjlinane]

One further note - I full well expect to be banned from AGO (and England) for posting this review - especially if Corey has a vote. If so, it has been nice hanging out with you all and to channel my inner Groucho, "I would never join a forum that would have me as a member." Or I could get a dog - eh, Flash?

mjl

[Twister]

This was probably one of the bests reviews I've ever seen. Corey could learn much from you grasshopper


:dancingbanana:

Nope Corey- still doesn't work

[TornadoRed]

You nailed it!

[ss 07C70]

Great review, think we all need to deal this awesome product sometime in the near future - maybe right now!

[tw33k2514]

You did an awesome job.

Looks like you have some more beer to drink though. So your new BA bottle opener should get a workout!

[TroyScherer]

Simply amazing!!!

[Dr Oldz]

Brilliant! Best review ever!

[CEE DOG]

ROFL!! I started reading this a bit irritated but it didn't take long for me to get with it. Very entertaining! Love the fake interview

[rwright]

Hilarious! I loved it!