Free to a good home

[Porsche Pilot]

Free to a good home and free shipping as well: 1 wife.

So it was Monday morning and I was sitting at my desk enjoying my Peets coffee and doing something close to nothing. Mrs. Porsche Pilot calls with the following statement: "My paralegal's 15 year old son is starting a car wash business. Is it ok for him to wash the Panamera?" Luckily I had a bottle of aspirin nearby. I quickly consumed a handful hoping to slow down the blood clot that was travelling towards my brain. I went into full gorilla mode and made many inappropriate comments about this kid touching our $85k P-car...until I realized that I was on speakerphone and the kids mother was standing right there. The day got worse.

I met Mrs PP at the grocery store after work. I didnt park near her when I got there so I didnt see anything amiss. After shopping, I pushed the cart towards the car and there it was. A handprint, wife's size, squarely in the middle of the driver's window. Apparently she feels that is an appropriate way to close the car door. Then I look inside the cabin. Well, my wife has apparently found the only store in the state that sells bags of crumbs. I swear, it looked like a hamster cage in there!

This all occurred after I spent 8 hours on Sunday cleaning the car. It was gorgeous and some of my best work yet. Every nook and cranny was cleaned, Q-tips were involved, compressed air, minature vac attachments, etc. Oh it was a sight to behold.

If someone does accept the offer and takes the wife, any closet space that you have will be quickly consumed by shoes. 30 pairs of black shoes that all look the same but apparently are not all black and each one is different. Also, she is a very accomplished lawyer and you will not win any arguements. It is best to just stipulate that you were wrong and move on with your day.

I feel better for ranting and think I need a nap.

[Finemess]

Is she a good cook and can she split wood?

[Fly bye]

[Porsche Pilot]

Is she a good cook and can she split wood?

Good cook...hmmm. I really dont know. She can unwrap a taco like nobody's business. She would not physically swing an axe and split wood. However, she would argue with it enough till the wood just gave in and split itself just to make the madness stop.

[Finemess]

Wont split wood,is she good with a rifle?

[Fly bye]

Good cook...hmmm...

You look pretty thin in the avatar

[BobbyG]

That was a good read....

One thing I came to terms with long ago is "most" woman don't really care how dirty their car gets until they can't see out the windshield. Don't misunderstand me, woman LOVE a clean car but keeping it clean is not on their list of priorities.

After I complete a full detail on my wifes car she loves it. The next week it's garaged each night, the interior is spotless but then slowly but surely it deteriorates rather quickly.

Spilled coffee
Spilled cream
Newspaper and junk mail on the floor
Bags in the back seat
Bird crap on the hood and windshield.... Didn't make it to the garage this week.
Mud and sand in the Weather Tech floor protectors

You know the drill.....

[Porsche Pilot]

Wont split wood,is she good with a rifle?

You are gonna have to take my word for it...dont put a rifle in her hands.

[PappyD]

...of the car? Or the wife?

Maybe she needs to drive my teens son's 97 Saturn... best $1200 I ever spent!

[dougaross]

I hope your wife doesn't go on AGO