Twas The Night Before Christmas.

[So.Cal.]

Happy Holidays Everyone. I hope you enjoy my little rendition.

To everyone at AG, Thanks for all your help and support.

To everyone on the forum, Thank you as well.




'Twas the night before Christmas, when all through the house

Not a creature was stirring, not even a mouse;

The stockings were hung by the chimney with care,

In hopes that Santa Max soon would be there;

The cars were nestled all snug in their garage beds,

While visions of a Dodo juice finish danced in my head;

And mamma in her 'microfiber kerchief, and I in my cap,

Had just settled down for a long winter's nap,

When out on the lawn there arose such a clatter,

I sprang from the bed to see what was the matter.

Away to the window I flew like a flash,

I knew I should have cleaned them with Diamondite Perfect Vision for Glass;

I Tore open the shutters and threw up the sash.

The Halogens I left on glowed off the new-fallen snow

And gave the luster of mid-day to objects below,

When, what to my wondering eyes should appear,

A miniature sleigh Dripping with a high gloss finish and eight tiny reindeer.

With a little old man, so lively and fast,

I knew in a moment it must be Santa Max.

More rapid than a Flex his coursers they came,

and he whistled, and shouted, and called them by name;

"Now, Pinnacle! now, Rolite! now, Flitz and Wolfgang!

On, Klasse! on Meguiars! on, Poorboys and Stoner!

To the top of the garage! To the edge of the wall!

Now dash away! dash away! dash away all!"

Like leaf blowers with wind or a hurricane will they fly,

When they meet with an obstacle, mount to the sky.

So up to the house-top the coursers they flew,

Having built in GPS the flight path they all knew.

With the sleigh gleaming bright and loaded with gifts,

Santa Max checked the shipping manifest clutched in his fist.

And then, in a twinkling, I heard on the roof

The prancing and pawing of each little hoof.

I reached for my Original life hammer while turning around,

Down the chimney came Santa Max with a thump and a bound.

He was dressed all in Microfiber, from his head to his foot,

And his clothes were all tarnished with ashes and soot;

I wondered if he used black wow on those shiny little boots,

And maybe he should have Scotch guarded his suit.

A bundle of gifts he had flung on his back,

I wondered if my Autogeek.net order was tucked in his pack.

His eyes -- how they twinkled! His dimples how merry!

His cheeks were like Fuzion, his nose like Hard Candy!

The beard of his chin was like white carnauba wax,

How cool I thought to myself, It’s really Santa Max.

The stump of a Detailing Swab he held tight in his teeth,

In Case he had to touch up some missed spots on a wreath;

He had a broad face and a little round belly,

That shook, when he laughed like a bowlful of Tire jelly.

He was chubby and plump, a right jolly old elf,

And I laughed when I saw him, in spite of myself;

A wink of his eye and a twist of his head,

Soon gave me to know I had nothing to dread;

When he opened his bag my eyes did they wander,

I saw wax, a wheel brush some towels and a polisher;

A bottle of cleaner, hand glaze and even an extractor.

I was frozen in place as I started to drool,

My mind was racing with visions as I looked on like a fool.

He spoke not a word, but went straight to his work,

And filled all the stockings; then turned with a jerk,

And laying his finger aside of his nose,

And giving a nod, up the chimney he rose;

He sprang to his sleigh so gleaming and bright,

I sure you would find no flaws even with a good light.

For his team he gave a whistle and away they all flew.

Like a weekend missed bogo or free shipping to you.

But I heard him exclaim, as he flew out of sight,

Happy Hanukkah, Merry Christmas,

Joyous Kwanzaa, Season's Greetings, Happy Holidays;

And too all a good night!