Prayers/well wishes would be appreciated...

[Don M]

Some of you know that for the last year, work has been getting exponentially worse, until August, at which time it became intolerable to deal with anymore. I was due to retire on March 31, 2023, but as August became September, I just knew that if I tried to stay until then, it would literally kill me from stress.

I sent my Dr an email prior to my September 30th appointment, outlining EVERYTHING in great detail that has been occurring. Come the day of the appointment, he started by asking me a few questions, then looked me straight in the eyes and said: "You're done." He put me on medical leave on the spot until October 27th, when he would 'reevaluate me.' I didn't make it that long. Within 3 weeks of being away from the job, I felt in my gut that I could never return. I was just as sure that if I went back, it would be fatal. I'd been keeping my Dr updated on my condition through emails, he responded by making my appointment on the 27th for TWO hours, instead of just the usual hour.

I also contacted my retirement system and requested they send me the required paperwork for a disability retirement. I previously checked on just flat out retiring early, but the earliest they could process me out would be November 30th, 2022. And what's WORSE is that by straight retiring just 4 months early would mean a $14,400/year LOSS in my retirement. God bless my wife, she DID NOT tell me I couldn't do it, that it was too much money to lose. She simply said: "We made it work through worse, we can make this work too." I don't know what I would do without her.

I received the disability paperwork, filled out my part and sent the Dr his portion to complete. I never made the appointment on the 27th. That morning, my wife had to call a squad for me, because I was having some nasty chest pains. I spent two days in the hospital, being poked, prodded and having tests run. Day two they did a heart catheter and were POSITIVE they were going to find a blockage or clot. To EVERYONE'S complete shock, they found NOTHING, just some minor plaque build up, no clots or blockages at all. Because of these results, I was released a few hours later and set up with another heart exam TWO MONTHS away, not ASAP as you would have thought. While yes, I do have several risk factors for heart disease, I felt all along that this was a delayed reaction to what's been going on at work. The hospital refused to commit, but they did say that the work stress COULD be a contributing factor.

My Dr (who if you haven't guessed by now is my Psychiatrist) got me in the very next day to make up the appointment I missed. HE ALSO BELIEVES that the episode was caused by work (but did tell me to work on my risk factors). He extended my leave until December 22, 2022 (that's as long as I can stay off on FMLA). My disability paperwork was completed, checked over and faxed to my retirement system. I'm supposed to call them in the morning to make sure they received all the pages and everything is to their liking. As long as everything is OK, all I have left to do is wait for their decision.

This is where I'm asking for everyone's well wishes. I really need this to go through as smoothly and quickly as possible. I am currently still receiving a paycheck from using up my accrued time, but that will run out before the end of the month. I fully believe God has this well in hand (just like he did when I lost my job for ten months from a wrongful termination), but the human in me needs reassurance and would like to know that others are pulling for me.

A few of you have reached out to me after picking up on some of the clues I gave in a few posts earlier in the month, and you cannot know how much that means to me. To have people who don't know me from John Doe on the street, reach out and actually let me talk and get it out, before the poison can do any more damage.

Thank you all.

[briarpatch]

Sending prayers your way, that God may intervene and have this go the way you need it to. Without getting into a very long story, I can tell you that prayer literally saved my life.

[dgage]

Can’t wait for you to get back into influencing me to buy Turtle Wax Hybrid products again. Wish you the best man!

[bbmach]

Hang in there. I honestly believe everything happens for a reason, and works out the way it should. Sometimes it is hard to see in the moment, but give it time.

I have had my share of experience with a toxic work environment, and can tell you leaving it, as tough as it was (financially, emotionally, etc.), was best thing I could have done. Your wife sounds wonderful and is correct – you’ll get through this too and will be heading back to being more like yourself before you know it.

I am glad you came out of the hospital in at least as good a shape as you went in :-) and the sooner you put the thoughts of your (former) place of employment behind you, the better of you’ll be. Getting out early with at least some of your retirement intact? I’d call that a major win.

The only thing that will derail you is if you give up. So, don't - you have a plan for your Camaro, now you just need a plan for you and your wife.

[Silly Rabbit]

So many people go through very rough times in their lives, health, work, family, loss, it is endless. Just stay strong and keep your faith in God and before you realize, it is like the clouds finally part and the sun in your life just have all the rough times as memory, everything heals. Yes there may be scars, but healing happens. Just keep the faith strong.

[Coatingsarecrack]

Hang in there. I honestly believe everything happens for a reason, and works out the way it should. Sometimes it is hard to see in the moment, but give it time.

I have had my share of experience with a toxic work environment, and can tell you leaving it, as tough as it was (financially, emotionally, etc.), was best thing I could have done. Your wife sounds wonderful and is correct – you’ll get through this too and will be heading back to being more like yourself before you know it.

I am glad you came out of the hospital in at least as good a shape as you went in :-) and the sooner you put the thoughts of your (former) place of employment behind you, the better of you’ll be. Getting out early with at least some of your retirement intact? I’d call that a major win.

The only thing that will derail you is if you give up. So, don't - you have a plan for your Camaro, now you just need a plan for you and your wife.

Don you know the world is full of great people when you got a Mustang guy pulling for you….. I kid.

This is a great community an we all got your back. Said a prayer and you were in it. So sorry for the toxic work environment and I hope the light at the end of the tunnel is near.

When that paper work comes through pull up and roast the tires on them into the joys set ahead of you

PS love my Camaro but my mustang was my true love.


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[dgage]

Don you know the world is full of great people when you got a Mustang guy pulling for you….. I kid.

This is a great community an we all got your back. Said a prayer and you were in it. So sorry for the toxic work environment and I hope the light at the end of the tunnel is near.

When that paper work comes through pull up and roast the tires on them into the joys set ahead of you

PS love my Camaro but my mustang was my true love.

I was trying to tell Don my Acura was better than his Camaro and he wasn’t buying it. Neither was I. But being as his Camaro was a gift from the wife, I’m sure it will forever by his favorite.

[Don M]

I was trying to tell Don my Acura was better than his Camaro and he wasn’t buying it. Neither was I. But being as his Camaro was a gift from the wife, I’m sure it will forever by his favorite.

For those who don't know THAT story - in December 2015, I lost my Suzuki Aerio to a driver who had a little too much "Christmas Cheer," at an office party and pulled out in front of me, then tried to flee. My car had just enough life left that I was able to block her in until the local police arrived (It was ONLY 5 pm for Heaven's sake). She was arrested, and I was car-less.

I spent the next few weeks looking at cars for $10K or less (trying not to spend too much), but everything I found had 100K miles (more or less) and the wife wasn't having that. She called me at work one day and told me to go to a particular Dealership and ask for salesman so and so, that he had two cars for me to look at. But she refused to tell me what kind of cars.

Being the smart, intelligent man that I am, I looked up the the dealership on line and looked up the least expensive new car(s) they had (her big thing was having a warranty since I was so dependent on the car for work). I located 3 bottom of the line, econoboxes, that I figured were the car(s) she had in mind. To me, that seemed plausible since my totaled car was also an econobox. When I get to the dealership, the salesman was in on the gag too and wouldn't tell me what I was there to look at. He just told me to "wait over there" while he brought them around.

Imagine my shock, when I turned the corner and saw not 1, but TWO late-model Camaros sitting there (I had a Camaro when we first met). A 2014 with 46K miles, stripe package and chrome rims, but no rear spoiler. and a 2013, straight black, no stripes, base "heritage" rims, but WITH a rear spoiler, with 24K miles. Both were V6 / 6 spd manuals, and both were about $16,000. I had a grin that didn't go away for weeks.

Randomly, I test drove the '13 and my grin got bigger. After the drive, I told the salesman that after I spoke with my wife, I would be back with my (choice) decision. After about a day of talking with my wife (and calling the insurance company to make sure I could afford coverage on a Camaro), the choice was made. My wife was pushing for the '13 because it had fewer miles and a longer warranty period remaining, I was pushing for the '13, because even without the stripes and chrome wheels, the rear spoiler gave it the "look" I wanted. On December 27, 2015, I drove the '13 home and have never regretted my decision.

I've owned the Camaro longer than any other car in my history, and aside from it's recent electronic 'hiccup' with the fuel pressure sensor, it has been the best running, most reliable car I have ever owned. Needing nothing but routine maintenance (fluid changes etc) and wear items (brakes, tires) for (in December) 7 years. While I was looking for an affordable car, my wife was also looking for an affordable car THAT WOULD MAKE ME HAPPY! I think she accomplished her mission. I've said it before and I'll say it again, I DON'T KNOW what I would do without her!!

[Larry A]

Just tell the company to take this job and shove it. I had a similar deal , and the day they fired me was one of the happest days of my life.

[bill walsh]

prayers sent for you and your family Don