I could really use my Dad right now.

**The D** · 10-09-2022, 12:21 PM

Do you have any accrued personal or vacation days left that you’ll get some pay on your leave? Nobody here will judge if you leave early but it’s so close and it’s a fairly big financial hit that I’d try to grit my teeth for the last little while. But definitely make sure you go out in a blaze of glory. As righteously indignant as you can manage without damaging your retirement. And get it on video, too. I’d love to see it

**ducksfan** · 10-09-2022, 01:02 PM

Are you getting exercise/activity? Keep moving, stay active. That goes for getting through this and living a good retirement (Actually, my opinion is you should never retire. You just make adjustments to how you spend your time.)

Remember that they can only get in your head as much as you let them. You should search out a good therapist (ask some doctors for rec's). Humans pattern. A good therapist should be able to give you ways to cope and control what you're going through. The money spent will be saved in your added income.

You can do this. You just need to change your focus. The right person who understands human behavior could give you some good insight to settle you down and provide techniques to move forward.

I'm wishing you success.

I would also consider contacting a lawyer who specializes in work place law. A good one would possibly have ways to intimidate them enough to get you relief for a few months.

**dlc95** · 10-09-2022, 03:58 PM

Originally Posted by Don M

I hope so too, but I'm not holding my breath. I am so far beyond done...Admitted spying on my personal life (that has absolutely NOTHING to do with work, it was connected to my detailing hobby), personal attacks on my job performance - from someone who COULDN'T DO MY JOB FOR AN HOUR, let alone a 12 hour shift, even if their life depended on it, made the mental and emotional stress thousands of times worse. This doctor-mandated vacation MIGHT help, it's only been a few days over a week that I've been off, and it seems like I'm getting worse. My sleep schedule is WAY off, I'm very easily irritated by everything. It's not good.

I wish I could do something to help ya. No good worker should have to deal with this kind of behavior.

I do remember my gf having issues with her manager and the manager's boyfriend stalking her online. Even this most recent job she had, they were stalking her social media. I can't for the life of me understand why they would do that.

I have a fiend who works for a local municipality. You should see the detailed records he has of meetings, agreements, etc, etc. He is often offering to contact his union rep and his attorney to deal with some of the day to day he goes through. He is a solid man and ever since we were kids he's always done things by the book, he's always put forth 100% effort and achieved maximum results. There is one guy in his group that works harder to get out of doing actual work than he would if he would just do his job. This guy is often the reason for the discord, because there are newer recruits that work just as hard as my friend yet get paid much less than the hanger on. When my friend calls out management they just shut him down and even reprimand him for "upsetting the apple cart". It's a no win situation.

My gf was successful at her last job. She was working as a cannabis trimmer with a room full of about 25 people. There was a group of rabble rousing SJW types that were trying to get those not in line with their socio-political ideology fired! These miserable women were successful getting one guy fired, but that same day the entire rest of the trim room went to H.R. to complain about those women. They had had enough. Management acted and all three were fired immediately.

Unfortunately soon thereafter an operations manager was hired and the entire trimming department was going to be dissolved for an outside contractor. Those weeks between the disclosure of intent and her last day were incredibly stressful. Like I said earlier, management was stalking her social media accounts for some reason..

You're not alone though. Some of the best people I know had to deal with it.

**2black1s** · 10-09-2022, 05:09 PM

I don't have any advice for the psychological trauma of what you're going through, but I do for the financial impacts of whatever decision you make.

If you haven't done so already, I'd suggest you review all of the company pension processes/procedures used to calculate your pension. Then with that knowledge, do your own calculation of what you will receive.

When I retired (from a large corporation), if I hadn't done that, I would have lost out on nearly $800/month. The company's calculations were not correct. It took over six months and several iterations of my "retirement package" before they finally got it right. Persistence is also necessary as they told me several times that they were right, and I was wrong, but I knew better based on my knowledge of the governing procedures.

**Don M** · 10-09-2022, 05:22 PM

Originally Posted by 2black1s

I don't have any advice for the psychological trauma of what you're going through, but I do for the financial impacts of whatever decision you make.

If you haven't done so already, I'd suggest you review all of the company pension processes/procedures used to calculate your pension. Then with that knowledge, do your own calculation of what you will receive.

When I retired (from a large corporation), if I hadn't done that, I would have lost out on nearly $800/month. The company's calculations were not correct. It took over six months and several iterations of my "retirement package" before they finally got it right. Persistence is also necessary as they told me several times that they were right, and I was wrong, but I knew better based on my knowledge of the governing procedures.

Thanks for the thought, but my retirement has nothing to do with my "company." Other than them having to match my 'contributions' over the years, which is governed by the state. My retirement system is OPERS (Ohio Public Employees Retirement System) and they are the ones who set the amount of what I receive monthly and they were the ones who told me that retiring 4 months early would set me back $1,200 per month.

**DanaDetailingPros** · 10-09-2022, 09:04 PM

Hi Don,
I don't know you other than a couple messages. My Dad was a Don and passed when I was 14 with pancreas cancer. I could only dream of having him around to talk to or just see his son grow up. I named my 2nd oldest son after him. I know exactly what your going through right now about not wanting to do anything you typically have always loved and done. I am still having a hard time getting out of my depression that is going on 5 years. I don't want to get into what caused it. It has been the worst thing that has ever happened to me in my 53 years and If i could say one word of advice, it would be to make every effort to try and force yourself to do 1 thing a day you normally do and grow forward and not backward like I did. It just gets harder. I just wanted to sleep in my room.

**2black1s** · 10-09-2022, 10:10 PM

Originally Posted by Don M

Thanks for the thought, but my retirement has nothing to do with my "company." Other than them having to match my 'contributions' over the years, which is governed by the state. My retirement system is OPERS (Ohio Public Employees Retirement System) and they are the ones who set the amount of what I receive monthly and they were the ones who told me that retiring 4 months early would set me back $1,200 per month.

That's exactly what I'm talking about. Get a hold of the OPERS documents that define and govern the retirement plan. Study them, and then do your own calculation. They may be wrong.

I could take your sentence and substitute my "company" for your "OPERS", and our stories are similar. Here's how my situation would read...

My retirement system is administered through the company and they are the ones who set the amount of what I receive monthly and they were the ones who told me that my monthly benefit payment would be $800.00 less than what I was really entitled to.

If I hadn't challenged their calculations and figures I'd be $800.00/month poorer than I am today.

**hoyt66** · 10-10-2022, 04:58 AM

Originally Posted by Don M

Who do you think took me off work? LOL My Dr wanted me out of there THREE YEARS AGO!! BUT, I promised my dad, I would try to stick it out before he passed. It's been bad for 8 years, but I NEVER saw THIS coming.

Understood. I pray for a solution that brings you peace soon.

**Don M** · 10-10-2022, 04:58 AM

Originally Posted by DanaDetailingPros

Hi Don,
I don't know you other than a couple messages. My Dad was a Don and passed when I was 14 with pancreas cancer. I could only dream of having him around to talk to or just see his son grow up. I named my 2nd oldest son after him. I know exactly what your going through right now about not wanting to do anything you typically have always loved and done. I am still having a hard time getting out of my depression that is going on 5 years. I don't want to get into what caused it. It has been the worst thing that has ever happened to me in my 53 years and If i could say one word of advice, it would be to make every effort to try and force yourself to do 1 thing a day you normally do and grow forward and not backward like I did. It just gets harder. I just wanted to sleep in my room.

I understand completely what you are saying. Starting week #2 of my Dr-ordered 'vacation,' I think I'm getting a little better. I don't feel the overwhelming NEED to hide like I did, but now I can't sleep past 2 - 3 am. And my interest in things is still below 0.

To add to the "Fun," the Camaro went down a week ago (mechanical). I have a wheel bearing that's going and I'm pretty sure I need a new clutch (166,075 miles on the FACTORY clutch) AND a check engine light that threw the car into "Limp Home Mode." The shop I have trusted for 7 years gave me an estimate of $4,200 to repair everything. If I had been thinking clearly, I would have questioned it, but I didn't. I just took the estimate and "limped" home. I DON'T have the $4,200 to repair it. So now it's just a garage ornament. My Camaro Club suggested I take the car to the mechanic THEY endorse for a 2nd opinion, but I couldn't get it in before the 24th. This has done WONDERS for my depression and enthusiasm for doing anything.