"About Us" 1st or 3rd Person

[MaxWax]

How did you guys write your "About Us", in the 1st or 3rd person?

[ScubaCougr]

Most of my site is written in the 3rd person. My contact page is written in the first person.

Some will say (correctly, IMO) you don't want to appear what you're not. But saying "Great Reflections Detailing works magic doesn't imply a huge staff. But (again IMO) saying "I" all over the place is boring to read and seems overly self absorbed.

Good question. Will be interesting to see what others say . . .

[david79z28]

Responding just to see responses. I have done two websites. Both owners wanted different.

My thoughts, if it says "About us", I think it should be in 1st. If it says "About Company X" then it should be in 3rd.....

[MaxWax]

Here's what I came up with for an "About us" I'm not sure if I used "I" and "Me" too much but I didn't want to say "We" and if I said MaxWax Auto Detailing everytime, it would get boring to read. I'm trying to keep it short and sweet, on my site the about us section will be used to describe my philosophy whereas the FAQ will get into detail about my methods. (The part that in bold was something that I wasn't sure whether or not to keep, that's why I put it in bold)



I founded MaxWax Auto Detailing upon one basic principle: to offer the absolute highest quality auto detailing and paint correction service, tailored to meet the clients needs while still maintaining a reasonable price. MaxWax Auto Detailing specializes in paint correction but offers a wide variety of services ranging from a basic wash all the way to perfecting that show car finish. I believe in doing the job right the first time, every time. It is by remaining true to this simple belief that I have established the high standard and exceptional customer service that MaxWax Auto Detailing has become synonymous with.

-Max Thilen - Owner/Operator

OR


At MaxWax Auto Detailing the customer always comes first. Great care is taken to ensure every client leaves with a shiny car and a smile on their face. Auto Detailing is my craft, and like any passionate craftsman, I take pride in doing the best job on every job. To me, paint correction is an art form. Nothing but the the best materials are used and I never stop researching to find the latest greatest ways to get the job done. I believe in doing the job right the first time, every time. It is by remaining true to this simple belief that I have established the high standard and exceptional customer service that MaxWax Auto Detailing has become synonymous with.


-Max Thilen - Owner/Operator

[Belicoso]

I think the customer is equally important. YOU language is very powerful, I borrowed from Max and changed "the client" (someone other than me) to YOU language...

... tailored to meet YOUR needs while still maintaining a reasonable price...

[MaxWax]

Thanks for the tip, that does sound better!

[Robert8194]

Max
I prefer the first paragraph much better.

It is personal preference but "we" sounds more like a business to me. "I" sounds like the Lone ranger to me. Doesn't sound like the big time.

As far as grammatical critique, you shouldn't end a sentence with a preposition. So rephrase the last sentence so as to not end with "with". I really like the philosophy.

[Jaddie]

Dear Max

I think Robert may mean "with which MaxWax Auto Detailing has become synonymous."

Using we instead of I probably is the better choice. My wife is hollering at me at the moment, so I don't have time to check out your site right now or offer other advice.

My son's name is Max. A good font to set the name is Futura Extra Black.

[MaxWax]

I knew I'd get good advice from posting those here! Thanks! And I'm leaning toward the first one as well, still not sure though.

[AdamsImport]

I Actually wonder the same thing all the time too, good input about not writing "I" all the time, you get bored as a reader...and a writer.