Thanks: 0
Likes: 0
Dislikes: 0
-
Super Member
Re: "About Us" 1st or 3rd Person
BRING IT TO YOUR ENGLISH TEACHER!! lol
nah, but I really like the first one better than the second, thats just me though. It feels more personal…..you know what I mean?
But I think the second one sounds more professional, and I would change a few of the words in it:
At MaxWax Auto Detailing the customer always comes first. Great care is taken to ensure every client leaves with a shiny car and a smile on their face. Auto Detailing is our craft, and like all passionate craftsman, we take pride in doing the best job on every job. To us, paint correction is an art form. Nothing but the the best materials are used and we never stop researching to find the latest greatest (maybe its just me but latest greatest sounds kinda weird...)ways to get the job done. Max Wax believes in doing the job right the first time, every time. It is by remaining true to this simple belief that I, as the founder, have established the high standard and exceptional customer service that MaxWax Auto Detailing has become synonymous with.
Just my 2 cents, I'm no English professor though
Good luck with it either way!
Who said you had to be a guy to like detailing?
Eva
-
Junior Member
Re: "About Us" 1st or 3rd Person
While it maybe considered personal preference, generally when you see writer's, author's, or web designer's profiles or "About Us" page they generally do it from the 3rd party position, much like a well written resume.
However, I definitely think you're on the right track. As far as the proposition 'with' ending the statement, you could easily add;
"...MaxWax Auto Detailing has become synonymous with providing quality results to an ever expanding client base. You too can rest assured you will receive the same professional care & results.
Schedule Your Appointment Today!"
*My writing's not perfect, but I would end with 'proposing' the reader take action.
Similar Threads
-
By Mike Phillips in forum Off-Topic
Replies: 12
Last Post: 04-10-2022, 01:58 PM
-
By DetailKitty in forum Off-Topic
Replies: 29
Last Post: 09-15-2018, 09:30 AM
-
By zmcgovern45 in forum Show N' Shine
Replies: 56
Last Post: 04-11-2014, 09:21 AM
-
By zckid in forum Show N' Shine
Replies: 9
Last Post: 12-21-2013, 11:16 AM
-
By IID in forum New Car Care Products
Replies: 20
Last Post: 10-08-2012, 12:59 PM
Members who have read this thread: 0
There are no members to list at the moment.
Posting Permissions
- You may not post new threads
- You may not post replies
- You may not post attachments
- You may not edit your posts
-
Forum Rules
|
S |
M |
T |
W |
T |
F |
S |
28 | 29 | 30 |
1
|
2
|
3
|
4
|
5
|
6
|
7
|
8
|
9
|
10
|
11
|
12
|
13
|
14
|
15
|
16
|
17
|
18
|
19
|
20
|
21
|
22
|
23
|
24
|
25
|
26
|
27
|
28
|
29
|
30
|
31
| 1 |
|
Bookmarks