Papa Fred's journey... comes to an end. With tearful eyes.... Thank you all for everything along the way

[cardaddy]

First... I know this isn't exactly the most uplifting, or even on-topic subject for a detailing forum. But being as so many of you supported myself, my wife, and our family when I posted the first thread about the sudden illness that landed her Father, I felt that I needed to update everyone with the final epilogue of this horrific journey we've been on these last four weeks. Actually, Wednesday was four weeks, 1 day, when Papa Fred lost his battle with this incredibly rare, and even more deadly infection.

Despite trying everything we could... at one of the best hospitals in this part of the country... we were faced with the choice last week of moving him to Hospice.

I mean, how can you be perfectly healthy Christmas, then barely 3 weeks later be diagnosed with (what they thought was lung cancer/ brain tumor) only to find out that it is an infection that even the infectious disease specialist said he had ONLY HEARD OF maybe, MAYBE 20 cases in his ENTIRE CAREER.

What I may not have mentioned (just can't remember now) in the first thread about this nightmare, was that Nana has had to move in with us during this nightmare. She needs someone with her daily, and is unable to live on her own.

It was just after 5:00 Wednesday afternoon, she had stepped to the other room when the phone rang, and up popped the caller ID on the TV, it was the hospice place calling. I wanted to just freeze, and pretend it was a wrong number... but I knew better.

I ran to the phone before she came back to the room, and sure enough... my worst fears were realized, the nurse on the other end was looking for my wife... her Daddy had passed, and neither of us were there. It was THAT fast. She said she'd call her on her cell, and I knew I couldn't let that happen. I called her just when she walked out the door of work.... caught her as she was getting in her truck to drive to see her Daddy that afternoon.... it all seems like a dream.

But the worst part... was now I had to tell Nana. Nana is in early stages of Alzheimer's, and I've been spending all day, 5 days a week with her, just me and her. While her world has imploded around her in only 4 weeks! Her grasp of it all is hard to imagine, not to mention hard to watch... and it's deja vu all over again for me... having gone through this with my own Father when he lived here from 04~06.


I am so blessed to have known Papa Fred for almost 42 years, (we'll be married 39 years this year). He is (was) an amazing quite, soft spoken, hard working, incredibly devoted to all things family... type of man, that I'll always be proud to have called my Father-in-law.

I remember back when Deb and I were teenagers, and we had a situation in our relationship and he looked at me and told me I might break up with her later, but at THAT point I would not walk away from her. Of course truth be told... I was scared to death of him, because I was a skinny teenager, and he was 6'3" of hard working railroad worker. I told him then that I had no intention of running away, that she was everything to me.

Then that first week, as I sat with him daily in the hospital, (when they had told us he had lung cancer and a brain tumor) BEFORE they realized that he had this “Nocardia” infection…. we had so many great conversations. I asked him if he remembered that conversation that he and I had when I was a skinny teenager... when I told him that l loved his daughter, and that I'd never leave her. He just shook his head. I told him then (that first week) that the words I said all those years ago were the truth, and today... MORE THAN EVER... I meant that promise, and he wouldn't need to ever worry... because now, even more than then... Deb and I will always survive.

Papa Fred spent almost 39 years on the railroad (before they bought him out early) and although being retired for over 25 years now, always keeps in touch with his old railroad buddies, and attends as many reunions as possible. Those guys are a tight knit family indeed. And it THAT circle, he is somewhat famous... famous for being the only guy they ever knew, that NEVER said a curse word, EVER.

That's my Papa Fred!

He'd say, "Well shucks" and someone would figure he was frustrated. Then he might say "Darn it", which by that time meant you'd done something serious, and you better get your act together. Then once in a blue moon... when you REALLY stepped in it, and perhaps things were FUBAR'd all over the place, ol' Fred would say "Well Gosh Darn it!"... and brother.... that was, to this group of rough and tumble guys... the equivalent of having half the sailors in the 5th fleet all open up on you at once. Because I gotta' tell ya'... if you EVER heard him say "Gosh Darn It!", you better either run, or start apologizing... like in a HURRY.

I hate that he had to go so quickly. It just makes it hurt so much more than any of us are prepared for.

OTOH... I'm glad he didn't have to suffer endlessly.

If there is any sort of shining light at the end of this darkness, it’s that the legacy of his 1930 Ford Model A will live on. I was there when he brought it home in 1976 (the year before we were married). He made several trips to the barn where it’d been sitting for 40 years, swapping out tires, changing oil and fluids, plugs, new gas, and actually DROVE it home! Then over the next 5 years, in his spare time, he did a full nut and bolt restoration. Every nut, bolt, washer, even bushings inside the transmission and steering sector were replaced.

The fenders were taken one or two at a time to a guy he found down in Jackson, a deaf mute, that painted them in black lacquer. Whatever he could fit in his pickup… he hauled down there, piece by piece. Then one day we helped him lift the body onto his little trailer, and off it went.

Eventually all the pieces were fitted back together, and boy was that a proud day for Papa Fred. Back then it was just Pop, or Fred…. Because we didn’t have any grandkids for him till the summer of 88. But from that point forward…. Papa Fred it was.

It’s not been treated with kid gloves all these years since, but it’s been taken care of. The paint, that 35 year old single stage lacquer is crying out for some good quality time with me and a plethora of buffers. Of course there are a few dents and dings, mainly one front fender, and a spot on the hood where some of his woodworking projects fell on it in the garage.

There was that time when the Model A was his only hobby. (When he was still running up and down the railroad tracks.) Then after he retired, he built a shop out back, and started doing woodworking, the type that you find and the weekend craft shows. He’s built everything from tops, to toys, from tables and chairs (for kids) to shadow boxes, to very intricate scroll saw pieces. Even managed to lose the tip of a finger to the table saw one afternoon… that just slowed him down a bit, but it didn’t dampen his enthusiasm for his newfound hobby. Folks would call him and commission special pieces, just from knowing his work. If only we could all be the kind of man, our Papa Fred was. To be famous among men for being the most soft spoken one they’ve ever known.

We are all so lucky to have had him in our lives, and we will miss him dearly!

For now... his memorial service will be at Haisten Funeral Home here in McDonough on Saturday.

Deb and I thank you all for your kind words, your thoughts, and the heartfelt prayers.!

In this time, at this place, the one verse that fits what happened, how fast, and how impossibly unable we were to stop it is this….

God saw you were getting tired, and a cure was not to be,
So he put his arms around you, And whispered, “Come to Me.”
With tearful eyes we watched you, And saw you pass away.
Although we loved you dearly, We could not make you stay.
A golden heart stopped beating, Hard working hands at rest.
God broke our hearts to prove to us, He only takes the best.

Here are a few photos of Papa Freds pride and joy, his first, and last Model A. There is the one, with his first trophy, which I’ll cherish both the photo, as well as the trophy for years to come.

[Priyaka]

So sorry for your loss. God bless.

[GSKR]

Truly sorry for your loss,and I hope your recovery throughout this will be somewhat at ease,really sucks losing someone really close.

[runrun411]

Tony, so sorry for your loss.

[BillE]

Condolences Tony to you and Car Mama.

Bill

[java]

My blessing goes to you and the family.

[Setec Astronomy]

Hey Tony, sorry to hear that, what you wrote above is a great eulogy, hopefully you'll be up to giving it.

[Mike lambert]

My heartfelt condolences

[Mike Honcho]

Sorry, Tony.

[lawrenceSA]

My heartfelt condolences to you and your family Tony.