Need Quality Friends

[FinishingTouchA]

A little background... (skip to the bottom for my question)
I grew up in a small town and went to school in an even smaller town (8th grade graduating class was 4 kids, high school class was 150) and was pretty nerdy (I guess I still am, just in a different way) and never have really had any friends that I felt close with and who I could truly relate to. After high school I tried to conform and adapt to the people around me because I wanted to have "friends." Still, I never felt like I could relate with them on an intelligent level.
Fast forward (I'm 22 now) I have an auto detailing business and am very goal oriented. I got rid of all my "friends" and basically just work all day every day on my business. I don't mind being "alone" I mean I meet new people and talk with people every day. But I think it would be really nice to meet some people like myself who want success more than anything.

Have any of you ever had this issue? How can I meet people who aren't lazy and who constantly work towards their goals and even better yet, have plans to become millionaires? Maybe it's just too much to ask out of society and people my age but I know there's got to be a few out there, I'd really just like some people I can relate to and talk to about "real things" instead of the news, new tv shows, relationship drama, gossip, things that are a waste of time and brain storage.

[LavJordan]

Hey man, Up here in Northwest aswell! Albeit Seattle, but we still get all the same lovely perks of this hemisphere(i.e rain, traffic and other benefits) Anywho, it definitely gets a little tougher once your out of any schooling to actually meet a few people. I'm 17, have my own detailing business, graduating from my local college hopefully in September with my AA and then off to who knows what. But between all that, having a hobby in building a race car on the side and doing anything else that consumes my time like computer crap, friends have definitely hit the backburner. I still go play a couple games of pool every other day with the guys but my schedule is slammed and I am still really falling behind in almost every aspect I feel like. But I am on the same page as you with the whole goal orientated idea. I am the cheapest ####### you will ever meet and I keep telling my friends If I'm not a millionaire by thirty, we are robbing a bank in a foreign country. From my calculations dubai seems very vulnerable! Anywho, none of my friends, the same guys I have all known for years, nor any of my good female companions share that urge to really go the extra mile. I mean school, yeah they exceed me by a mile. But they all have these what people call "realistic" visions. Bleh. I mean yeah I plan on a future in real estate but my backup plans are still race car driver and astronaut :xyxthumbs:

I dont know maybe its that attitude I have that life is a big game, and how did you win any board game representing life; With moolah! Or maybe the idea of four hot tubs and a personal space ship sound cool...

I think we would get along man. PM me. I dont have any "detailing buddies" yet and oregons still close enough to count :props:

[swanicyouth]

IMHO success may defined differently by different people. Not everyone is striving to become a millionaire. Working 24/7 to make a ton of money for the sake of making a ton of money may make you "rich", but your personal life may suffer.

All that being said, when I talk to my friends, the last thing I talk about is anything serious. It's usually a lot of screwing around and nonsense. Most people I talk to are well paid professionals making a good living, but our conversations prolly sound a lot like Beavis & Butthead.

[tonysteve]

I grew up in a small town with a ton of friends and was extremely social. My dad owns a successful body shop and works his fingers to the bone and that rubbed off on me when I graduated high school. I put friends on the back burner and worked as a retail manager for 7 years then a company restructure came down and I lost my job so I took a month off to collect myself and find where I want to go. I looked back and looked at how I didn't have a strong relationship with my family because my dad and myself constantly working and don't have a lot of friends anymore and decided I'm going to take the becoming a millionaire thing less serious and make myself comfortable and friends and family are more important to a stable lifestyle. So just like said above. To each their own but after looking back on working 60-80 hour weeks and having no time to yourself I am a firm believer in a work/life balance.


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[kecko]

FinishingTouchA,

Just a little advice from a 38 year old here. A few years older than you. It's great that you are striving to be successful and have serious goals set for yourself. I have one word of advice for you - LET GO BRO!!!

When I graduated high school I was like you and a very serious type of person. I didn't dream of being a millionaire as my situation was different from yours. I decided to take 1 year off from school when I graduated high school so I could concentrate on what I wanted in life. During that one year off I met a girl, who I thought I loved and after nearly 8 mos of dating she became pregnant.

Fast forward 18 years, that child is set to graduate High School in May. She is a straight A honor student and we are planning her college career as we speak. I am so proud of her and it makes me cringe to think how fast time has gone by. I feel so old but again I am only 38.

Let me explain the part in the middle of those 18 years. The part of my life that you will soon be experiencing because even though we are different our goals weren't so much different. When my daughter was 3 mos old, her Mother and I separated and she left. I was a 20 year old kid, who just got emergency custody. Instead of running for the hills myself, I chose to do what my parents raised me to do. I stood up and decided to become a man.

Your goal is to become a millionaire, my goal was to become the best Father, ever. Complete opposites, right? Wrong. Your mindset is exactly the same as mine. I blocked out friends because they weren't focused on the same goal as me. They weren't serious. They were 20 something kids in my eyes. I was a man now. That's where I made my mistakes. I didn't allow my friends and my peers to be the people they were. I took their lack of seriousness as weakness and people I walked away from. Remember you can still have goals set for yourself but don't push those expectations on them or require those around you to be as serious about their goals as you are. They will disappoint you. They will walk away from you. Surround yourself with people from all walks of life. How boring it is to have people in your life who are just like you.

The scary thing about my daughter graduating high school in a few months is the fact that she's been my best bud for the last 18 years. We've done everything together. I focused all my time on her and let all my friends walk away. Now that she will be leaving for school in a few months I am scared because I am now realizing that I don't have any real friends. Like you, I have co-workers who I enjoy being around when I am at work. Just like you I socialize with people I meet in everyday life. However, I have no friends I can really count on and that's my fault for not taking time to surround myself with people who I can lean on. I love my wife and everything she does for me. However, there is no substitute for real friends who you can just BS with and let down your guard with.

Trust me buddy, don't be like me and lose that serious attitude. As the poster above mentioned, your personal life will take a hit. When you're at work take that job serious and when your job is done for the day let go and have fun and laugh and surround yourself with people who can do the same. Remember you work to live, not live to work!!!!

Good luck!!

[swanicyouth]

IMHO you need 3 people in your life (not family) who you know would show up in the middle of the night to bail you out of jail.

Not like I've ever had to take anyone up on that. Lol.

[FinishingTouchA]

Let me emphasize, I don't enjoy "just hanging out." Fun for me is working towards something or talking about productive things. For the last 2 years my passion lied in drifting cars, now that I'm running the business I don't have a whole lot of time for that, Right now I'm working to save money to build a new drift car/show car (lsx powered cuda restomod) but I can tell you right now.. I don't enjoy talking to the people in that scene. I really do think I may be of a different breed. Is there something wrong with me because I don't enjoy people?

[rms64]

I believe that in order to have quality friends, you must first be a quality friend.

:xyxthumbs:

[kecko]

I dont think anything is wrong with you personally. We sound lime one of the same. You know how many times I've told my wife I dont want to meet Jane and Jon Doe for dinner because they have nothing constructive to say. That is how you are wired just like that is how I am. However most people are not like that and so your personal life will suffer to a degree, as has mine because we think differently. I am extremely introverted and most people just dont get it. Its not the norm and therefore you will always be asking yourself the questions you are asking us. I get it. Most won't. Its taken my wife a few years to figure out what makes me tick and luckily she doesnt judge me for it. She lets me do my thing. Just keep do what you are doing. Enjoying the things that make you happy and every now and then do something that takes you outside your comfort zone. It cant be always about you so you have to learn to do things for other people as well.

[tonysteve]

IMHO you need 3 people in your life (not family) who you know would show up in the middle of the night to bail you out of jail.

Not like I've ever had to take anyone up on that. Lol.


Just don't end up in jail with those 3 people at the same time. That gets interesting


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[FinishingTouchA]

I dont think anything is wrong with you personally. We sound lime one of the same. You know how many times I've told my wife I dont want to meet Jane and Jon Doe for dinner because they have nothing constructive to say. That is how you are wired just like that is how I am. However most people are not like that and so your personal life will suffer to a degree, as has mine because we think differently. I am extremely introverted and most people just dont get it. Its not the norm and therefore you will always be asking yourself the questions you are asking us. I get it. Most won't. Its taken my wife a few years to figure out what makes me tick and luckily she doesnt judge me for it. She lets me do my thing. Just keep do what you are doing. Enjoying the things that make you happy and every now and then do something that takes you outside your comfort zone. It cant be always about you so you have to learn to do things for other people as well.

Thanks, means a lot to know there at least 1 person out there as weird as me lol

[FrankS]

Let me emphasize, I don't enjoy "just hanging out." Fun for me is working towards something or talking about productive things. For the last 2 years my passion lied in drifting cars, now that I'm running the business I don't have a whole lot of time for that, Right now I'm working to save money to build a new drift car/show car (lsx powered cuda restomod) but I can tell you right now.. I don't enjoy talking to the people in that scene. I really do think I may be of a different breed. Is there something wrong with me because I don't enjoy people?

You may be a different breed in the sense that others around you don't have the same passion you do which is okay.

On the other hand, some of the people who have brought us some of the innovations we have today were very driven and if I'm not mistaken were considered "loners".

There are also different degrees of friends in life. There are friends who are more or less just acquaintances and there are friends that you can share your dreams with and those will mostly likely be few.

As far as not liking people, there will always be people that you get along with more than others but if you think about it, almost every occupation in life is designed to serve people in one way or the other.

[RichElliott]

Let me emphasize, I don't enjoy "just hanging out." Fun for me is working towards something or talking about productive things. For the last 2 years my passion lied in drifting cars, now that I'm running the business I don't have a whole lot of time for that, Right now I'm working to save money to build a new drift car/show car (lsx powered cuda restomod) but I can tell you right now.. I don't enjoy talking to the people in that scene. I really do think I may be of a different breed. Is there something wrong with me because I don't enjoy people?

Do what makes you happy and screw what everyone else says or thinks.

Define for yourself what makes you happy and go for it. Be specific in your goals. Will "Success" make you happy? What is it that you define as success? Money? Fame? Happiness? A house? The perfect drift car? A car detail company that makes $300,000 a year? $200,000 a year? $30,000 a year?

Just figure out what will make you happy and go for it.

:xyxthumbs:

[Souldetailer]

Hey Ryan,

Read your post to get your name. I didn't read the others responses (as fantastic as they may be, to influence my own response.) I recently had a near death car accident, which put a lot of things into perspective for me and my wife. Although there are many things I could say, the most important to ME is be yourself and pay forward, yeah may seem cliche' but the rewards are immeasurable. Wow, stellar, huh. Good luck & take care.:xyxthumbs:

Peace,

Darrin

[wrb_subie]

I joined the Marines after high school and met the biggest group of ass holes in the world and love every last one of them. To this day we still get together once a year and drink to much, wreck something, someone ends up hurt, we all suffer hangovers and then do it again a year later.

I do however have a local group that I've met through cars. Good group of guys just not quite the bond I have with my brothers