A Scottish Christmas

[richy]

A man in Scotland calls his son in London the day before Christmas Eve and says, I hate to ruin your day but I have to tell you that your mother and I are divorcing; forty-five years of misery is enough.

'Dad, what are you talking about?' the son screams.

We can't stand the sight of each other any longer the father says. We're sick of each other and I'm sick of talking about this, so you call your sister in Leeds and tell her.

Franticly, the son calls his sister, who explodes on the phone. Like hell they're getting divorced! she shouts, l'll take care of this!

She calls Scotland immediately, and screams at her father You are NOT getting divorced. Don't do a single thing until I get there. I'm calling my brother back, and we'll both be there tomorrow. Until then, don't do a thing, DO YOU HEAR ME? and hangs up.

The old man hangs up his phone and turns to his wife. 'Sorted! They're coming for Christmas - and they're paying their own way.'


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[cartman57]

:laughing::laughing:
If only it were that easy!

[primo spaghetti]

HAHA..nice!

[RMM]

At L2D you are more...inspired! :D

[IID]

That's a good one Richy

[richy]

At L2D you are more...inspired! :D

Ummm....yes. I've been banned by Nick twice already. I don't need to give him any ammunition.


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[RedXray]

Ummm....yes. I've been banned by Nick twice already. I don't need to give him any ammunition.

OH my!

so nick has the power to ban people that were buffing show cars... long before he was born???

[eggshells]

[richy]

What?? That statement makes no sense.


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[Johny B]

Good one richy :laughing:

[oldmodman]

I think I'll enter one of my own.

Once upon a time, four of Santa's elves got sick, the trainee elves did not produce toys as fast as the regular ones, and Santa began to feel the pre-Christmas pressure.

Then, Mrs. Claus told Santa her mother was coming to visit, which stressed Santa even more.

When he went to harness the reindeer, he found that three of them were about to give birth, and two others had jumped the fence and were out, heaven knows where.

Then, when he began to load the sleigh, one of the floorboards cracked, the toy bag fell to the ground and all the toys were scattered.

Frustrated, Santa went in the house for a cup of apple cider and a shot of rum. When he went to the cupboard, he discovered the elves had drunk all the cider and hidden the liquor. In his frustration, he accidentally dropped the cider jug, and it broke into hundreds of little glass pieces all over the kitchen floor. He went to get the broom and found the mice had eaten all the straw off the end of the broom.

Just then, the doorbell rang, and an irritated Santa marched to the door, yanked it open, and there stood a little angel with a great big Christmas tree.

The angel said very cheerfully, “Merry Christmas, Santa. Isn't this a lovely day? I have a beautiful tree for you. Where would you like me to stick it?”

And, so began the tradition of the little angel on top of the Christmas tree.

Not a lot of people know this.

[rwright]

Ummm....yes. I've been banned by Nick twice already. I don't need to give him any ammunition.


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You won't be banned at detailer buddies, I can assure you that.

[primo spaghetti]

I think I'll enter one of my own.

Once upon a time, four of Santa's elves got sick, the trainee elves did not produce toys as fast as the regular ones, and Santa began to feel the pre-Christmas pressure.

Then, Mrs. Claus told Santa her mother was coming to visit, which stressed Santa even more.

When he went to harness the reindeer, he found that three of them were about to give birth, and two others had jumped the fence and were out, heaven knows where.

Then, when he began to load the sleigh, one of the floorboards cracked, the toy bag fell to the ground and all the toys were scattered.

Frustrated, Santa went in the house for a cup of apple cider and a shot of rum. When he went to the cupboard, he discovered the elves had drunk all the cider and hidden the liquor. In his frustration, he accidentally dropped the cider jug, and it broke into hundreds of little glass pieces all over the kitchen floor. He went to get the broom and found the mice had eaten all the straw off the end of the broom.

Just then, the doorbell rang, and an irritated Santa marched to the door, yanked it open, and there stood a little angel with a great big Christmas tree.

The angel said very cheerfully, “Merry Christmas, Santa. Isn't this a lovely day? I have a beautiful tree for you. Where would you like me to stick it?”

And, so began the tradition of the little angel on top of the Christmas tree.

Not a lot of people know this.

haha...now thats a new one for me!!

[richy]

OMG. That's hilarious!! Thank you!


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