pixelmonkey
11-28-2011, 09:25 AM
i started drinking energy drinks in 2004.
in 2005 they helped with the road trip from vegas to oklahoma. long trip and a bit of a detour that duplicated that of fear and loathing... somewhere between barstow and vegas.
back to the point, here are a few reviews of energy drinks from my head.
Red Bull
=======================
- gives you wings? slight pick-up with a bit of jitter
- florescent yellow urine if you consume more than 12 oz in 1 hour
- leaves you wanting water
Monster
=======================
- no way to surgar coat this... it will gives you the poops!
- Lo-Carb "blue" taste better than the regular Green
- level buzz that will raise the hair on your neck after 20 oz consumption
NOS
=======================
- orange crack juice?
- increased paranoia
- makes me want to run for a short distance, then vomit
No Fear
=======================
- lets take the crap batches of Red Bull and add sugar!
- how are they still in business?
Bawls
=======================
- Sprtie with caffine? WTH?
- that was an energy drink?
- why are you talking and moving so slow?
- i can now see each flap of a humming birds wings.
Rock Star
=======================
- maybe if we make yet another flavor people will buy it!
- causes skid marks. but no urge to poo
ALL OTHERS LUMPED INTO ONE
=======================
- if Monster and Red Bull are making money at it, we can too!
- lets add some cocaine to the mix and get people hooked. yea, that will work
- in trouble with trace amounts of cocaine, lets do the next batch with meth!
- ADD MORE SUGAR
- lets make it taste like donkey bum! *dont ask*
- lets add a special tab with our logo
- sponsor a Motocross team with riders that have mental disorders or other handicaps!
there ya have it. now drink up!
chris<pixelmonkey>
in 2005 they helped with the road trip from vegas to oklahoma. long trip and a bit of a detour that duplicated that of fear and loathing... somewhere between barstow and vegas.
back to the point, here are a few reviews of energy drinks from my head.
Red Bull
=======================
- gives you wings? slight pick-up with a bit of jitter
- florescent yellow urine if you consume more than 12 oz in 1 hour
- leaves you wanting water
Monster
=======================
- no way to surgar coat this... it will gives you the poops!
- Lo-Carb "blue" taste better than the regular Green
- level buzz that will raise the hair on your neck after 20 oz consumption
NOS
=======================
- orange crack juice?
- increased paranoia
- makes me want to run for a short distance, then vomit
No Fear
=======================
- lets take the crap batches of Red Bull and add sugar!
- how are they still in business?
Bawls
=======================
- Sprtie with caffine? WTH?
- that was an energy drink?
- why are you talking and moving so slow?
- i can now see each flap of a humming birds wings.
Rock Star
=======================
- maybe if we make yet another flavor people will buy it!
- causes skid marks. but no urge to poo
ALL OTHERS LUMPED INTO ONE
=======================
- if Monster and Red Bull are making money at it, we can too!
- lets add some cocaine to the mix and get people hooked. yea, that will work
- in trouble with trace amounts of cocaine, lets do the next batch with meth!
- ADD MORE SUGAR
- lets make it taste like donkey bum! *dont ask*
- lets add a special tab with our logo
- sponsor a Motocross team with riders that have mental disorders or other handicaps!
there ya have it. now drink up!
chris<pixelmonkey>