Don't worry Shawn David may be having an off day so I wouldn't come down on him too hard just yet.
I too like the way Shade Tree has worded it.
I'm also interested in this no micro edge thing. I'd love to see some finished tints once you have finished. I think that this would be a great upsell advantage, because if someone was really impressed with the detail they just got, they will feel quite confident about your tinting services.
Maybe if you were to offer a small discount when they were purchase services over a certain value. Say, if they were to get a 3 step paint correction, then they are entitled to a small percentage (maybe 5%) off the price of tinting.
Still, I can't wait to see some finished pics!!!